Why Doing Nothing is One of the Best Things You Can Do
Here’s your permission slip to do less. To do nothing more. I want to talk to you friend to friend about today’s topic. I’ve been working 40+ hours for a big copywriting client while also keeping up with the weekly podcast and emails. Not gonna lie that at times I feel overloaded. Sometimes I have to be ok with getting the bare minimum done because that’s my season of life right now. A close friend of mine shared with me that she's been struggling because her ADHD medication isn’t working anymore and she’s having relationship stress. So her mind feels foggy and like she’s lost control of her life. If you’re feeling like us too where life can feel heavy and you’re not sure when you’ll come up for air please know you’re not alone and continue reading.
I’m not going to tell you to buckle up and press the gas pedal. To get thicker skin and strategize more. If that’s what you’re looking for then this episode isn’t for you. I’m going to share the complete opposite of what popular practice would tell you. It comes from a deeper understanding of masculine and feminine energies and how our emotional states ebb and flow like seasons. We need to be connected to our bodies and aware of what it needs from moment to moment. Then adapt based on that feedback. Some seasons you’ll feel a bigger desire to focus and pursue goals. Others you’ll feel a need to rest and recalculate your direction. But before I dive deeper into that let’s talk about what popular belief tells us.
It’s no surprise to hear we live in a world that rewards constant doing. Fast-paced deadlines. 40+ hour workweeks. Constant connectivity. If you’re anything like me the minute I acknowledge the exhaustion in my bones I feel guilty for thinking of taking a break instead of pushing through. Many of us have been conditioned to believe the only way to survive in the world is by adopting this fast-paced, constant doing mentality.
Most articles on success talk about goal setting and habits like it’s an Olympic sport. Intellectualized with stacks on stacks of strategies. We also answer emails while we walk, listen to podcasts in the car, and have the TV on while we work. Like cookie monsters for media consumption. The ego loves this. Feeling like anything can be achieved or solved with enough thinking, strategizing, and to-do lists. That dopamine is like air and can be produced with every show we watch or game we play. Masculine energy on steroids.
But what if you’re freaking tired? Or your spirit is craving a slower pace? What if people think you’re crazy for wanting to create boundaries at work or with your media? First, you’re not crazy. You’re incredibly in tune and intelligent to recognize that desire for boundaries. You’re more advanced and aware than most people. Second, this means your body is communicating to you what your spirit needs. That you need to act on that spiritual prompting.
The world runs on masculine energy. It makes you believe in the hustle, grind, and burnout. There are books, podcasts, and coaching that preach this unholy gospel. But the good news is this isn’t the only way. In fact, there’s a better way that may be more in alignment with who you truly are. What if I told you you’re more likely to succeed and thrive if you did nothing more? That allowing time for boredom holds more value than almost anything else you can do in the day. That is the permission slip I want to give you in this episode. To prioritize doing nothing and not feeling like every second needs to be productive or active.
Why We’re Afraid to Do Nothing
According to a new report from the World Health Organization working long hours is a leading cause of death from heart disease and stroke. They said, “The study concludes that working fifty-five or more hours per week is associated with an estimated 35% higher risk of a stroke and a 17% higher risk of dying from...heart disease, compared to working thirty-five to forty hours a week.” With working from home becoming more normalized especially in the last few years people are having a harder time separating life from work. I understand that some of you listening can’t go to your boss and tell them to decrease your hours. Lawyers and other similar professions base their whole business model on how many hours they can bill clients. So my solution won’t be about things we can’t control right now but more about things you can control.
Even if you’re reading and know you don’t work fifty-five or more hours per week there’s a constant pressure to always be doing something. We’ve been conditioned to believe that our inherent value needs to be earned. We need to hustle for our worthiness. That we need to create a side hustle, clean while listening to a podcast, read a book on the subway, or any number of things that cause us to consume and multitask.
Then there’s the power we give to the internet and social media platforms. Being on the internet and having an online presence has become synonymous with relevancy. New York Times bestselling author and computer science professor, Cal Newport says that by embracing not being on the internet you’ve marked yourself, as cultural critic Neil Postman would say, “Invisible and therefore irrelevant.” Businesses that don’t adopt social strategies are seen as archaic and behind the times. Our culture is internet-centrist. So now, most people believe constant connectivity is a necessity. A survival mechanism.
Why Doing Nothing Matters
Sue Smalley, Ph.D., a behavioral geneticist, writer, and activist says, “It’s not surprising that rates of depression, anxiety, and stress are increasing as the doingness of life seems to have little counterbalance.” We need more counterbalance. We’re not robots who can hammer away without slowing down. In fact, we become more creative when we allow ourselves to be more and do less.
Previously, we broke down the difference between masculine and feminine energy. They don’t represent masculine and feminine as a gender but as two energetic sides to the spiritual. Every person alive has both energies within them and often lean toward one or the other. Which can cause imbalances.
For the purposes of this episode, we’re only going to mention masculine energy being too dominant. You may not feel valued, nurtured, or appreciated. You'll feel tired, stressed, overworked, and unloved. In order to reverse the effects of this energetic damage, you need to counterbalance it.
Sue Smalley, Ph.D., behavioral geneticist, says, “Science is starting to show the value of spending time in silence, in nature, and in not engaging in constant external stimulation...We need time doing ‘nothing’ to be our best selves: well-rounded and creative human beings. The ‘doing’ side of our nature needs a ‘being’ side to be in balance.” This aligns really well with Deepak Chopra’s guidance to incorporate silence, stillness, non-judgment, and nature into your life every day to stay spiritually well.
Brian O’Connor, Ph.D., Full Professor and Head of the School of Philosophy at University College Dublin and author of the 2018 philosophical essay Idleness, said we might be a bit happier if we stopped obsessing over making something with our talents and embraced more idleness instead. When you’re idle it leaves room for your mind to wander which boosts creativity, innovation, and problem-solving. But of course, idleness doesn’t mean getting on your phone or watching television. Not even reading a book which is a hard one for me to not do. Those things still don’t allow you to think.
But you also don’t want to force idleness either. Making it another thing to check off your to-do list. This adds more pressure which is the opposite of what you’d hope for. So go easy at first. Let the stillness happen naturally. Maybe you listen to a full album while lying on the couch or floor. Maybe it’s playing classical music. Then you can ease your way into nothing. Here are some more ideas for adding more nothing into your life.
How to Do Nothing
Don’t schedule every second of your day. Allow breathing spaces. Also, create a hard stop for working. A great way to shut down every day comes from Cal Newport’s book Deep Work*. When you wrap up things at work say “Shut down complete” then don’t allow your mind to dive into work again until the next day. I like to take a walk after that shut down since I’m working from home. It helps me wind down and make that separation. You don’t have to be forceful with your mind though. It’s ok if thoughts float in. Just let them keep passing through and lightly acknowledge them but go back to do nothing.
Write a well-being list. Have it on your phone or written in a journal so if you find yourself finishing work early or have an hour free up you can pick one or two things from the list. On mine, I have things like take a walk, cook a good meal, eat lunch without anything on, and more.
Schedule your non-negotiables into your schedule FIRST before work obligations. Things like morning routines, workouts, stop times, health appointments, etc. If you’re working for someone else and must have your time dictated to when meetings are scheduled, at least block off your hour lunches every day and don’t let anyone schedule time with you then.
Think of what you used to do as a kid when you were bored. I used to lay on my bed during sweltering Tucson summers and listen to a cd from beginning to end listening to every background vocal and instrumental. Those were some of my favorite years. And I wasn’t doing multiple things at once. Try to compare how things make you feel now with those simpler times. Work on having the feelings meet up so you can start feeling that freedom again.
Let me know if you had any inspiration after listening to this episode or what you would add to your well-being or do nothing list. Leave a comment below!
Affirmation
I embrace the being side of my spirit and give it the room and space it deserves in my life.
Writing Prompt
What feels forced in my life? What feels more flow-y? How can I make life feel more effortless?
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