6 Ways to Overcome Resistance and Raise Your Energetic Vibration
I’ve been called “The Resistor” several times now because when I don't know something I doubt my ability to make the right choice. But this made me start questioning why that was my default setting. Are you reading this and thinking “wow, I struggle with resistance too?” You know, that feeling of energy being blocked rather than flowing with the tides of life? I’ll take you through why we struggle with resistance, letting go of what feels misaligned, and the 6 Rs of Working Through Resistance. So, what do you resist the most in your life?
"If you were a superhero you would be called the Resistor." That's what my husband told me after he showed me a new, elegant home decor item he wanted to get for our New York City apartment. My initial reaction was skepticism. Not because he has bad taste. No. He has excellent taste. It's because I don't have a decorating bone in my body.
When I don't know something I freeze and doubt my ability to make the right choice. Eventually, I say yes and end up LOVING what my husband picks out. After a few more times of being called The Resistor, I started questioning why that was my default setting. I know I'm not alone in this either.
You may be reading this and struggle with resistance too. You know. That tight, defensive feeling as if you hit a brick wall. That feeling of energy being blocked rather than flowing with the tides of life. Michelle Rees says, "Resistance is an inherent characteristic of change." They go hand in hand.
Some people resist going to the doctor because they're afraid they'll get news they don't like. Or resist receiving more love from their partner because they don't believe they deserve it. It's a way of saying "Nope. I don't accept what's happening right now." or that "Nope. I don't trust myself to make a good decision or handle a new situation." What do you resist the most in your life?
Why We Struggle with Resistance
As the ultimate Resistor, it made me curious. Why do we struggle with resistance? How the heck can I stop being an expert resistor? So I've researched and compiled information and this episode and post will share what I found.
Resistance not only affects our well-being on a physical and emotional level but on a creative one, too. It's a self-protection mechanism that activates when a change happens. Michelle Rees says that "resistance can feel like an internal struggle between two parts of ourselves." Tony Fahkry says, "Emotional resistance implies the avoidance of feelings and unconscious emotions hidden under the surface. It relates to facing the true nature of oneself."
In spiritual speak, that's the ego conflicting with the higher self. The ego wants to stay the same and within its comfort zone. The higher self is curious and open to expanding and learning. Depending on which you identify the most with resistance can have a bigger or smaller part to play in your life.
On the physical level, Rees says, "Since the change process requires extra effort, energy, and brainpower, resistance can provoke physical feelings of discomfort like tiredness, lethargy, and slowed movement patterns." This effect happens on a subconscious level for most people so they may not realize resistance causes these symptoms. Resistance creates more disruption in your life than you think. I'm coming on strong here because as Steven Pressfield says, "Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance."
I don't want resistance to be the reason that unlived life within you stays unlived. I challenge you to commit with me to ending resistance's reign right here, right now. Or at least be willing to end the subconscious level awareness of it. Resistance is a big manifesting blocker and slows down the arrival of abundance into your life.
One of the biggest reasons to wrangle your resistance in is so you can get what you want faster. Maybe you're the manifesting sort like me and want that flood of abundance to wash over you without hesitation. If you feel like all you're getting is a drip at a time resistance may be to blame. There are many underlying reasons for this. It could be belief-related or habit-related.
I could sit here and break down psychological concepts which are interesting. We'd not only be here for a very long time but it could get confusing how this applies to your actual life so I've decided to illustrate the concept of resistance using a story. See if you can take away any inspiration to use for your own life.
Get What You Want Faster
A few weeks ago, I felt drained. Drained by my copywriting business, by The Good Space, and by life in general. Also a bit sad. So I took a few days off and figured I'd come back refreshed and motivated like usual. Nope. That's not what happened.
My sadness kept getting worse so I knew there was an energetic block somewhere in my life. A resistance. But to what? After talking to a friend about it I realized that I'd been attracting lack instead of abundance. Let me explain.
In my business, I'd been focusing my energy and thoughts only on the things that would make more "money". Or so I thought would make more money. Doing projects and creating offerings that experts told me would be profitable. But they weren't working for me. It was frustrating.
Profit is a necessity as a business owner so you're not running an expensive hobby. Have you felt the pressure too to create something based on the money it could bring in? What was missing was an energetic alignment. In focusing on wanting money you're acknowledging there's a lack of it.
When you acknowledge there's a lack the Universe continues to give you more lack. It's the same with love or any other desire. Striving after it and wanting it acknowledges lack. That creates resistance because rather than flow with the way God/Universe wants to give you abundance you instead demand it show up the way you see fit. What the ego sees as the "right" thing.
But who says we know what's best for us considering how limited our human mind is? So I realized that rather than focus on needing something I needed to turn my attention to what felt good. It didn't matter if it made "business" sense or was a ham sandwich. If that felt good I needed to focus on that above all else and unblock that stuck flow of abundance.
For me, that was making writing a priority. It's been the one thing God has clearly told me I need to focus on. But I've ignored it because in my mind it didn't mean money. So I had a real talk with God and said, "Fine. I'm going to commit to writing and make it my main focus. I don't see how this will help my situation but I'll do it."
Here’s where the act of trust matters. If God places a desire in your heart to want something He does it for a reason. He may make the path to get there super weird to the egoic mind but He will get you there. You must trust He wants even more for you than you want for yourself. It's only on us to receive that abundance and be willing to learn to handle it. If you can't handle it He won't give it to you.
I started feeling better about that commitment. I looked at my planner and decided to focus only on launching my new productivity eBook. That's it. Then I wondered how else I could simplify my business? What else felt heavy or blocked? Once you make your commitment to what you feel called to do ask this question and see what happens next.
Letting Go of What Feels Misaligned
For me, it was letting go of my new assistant. I had just started training someone and it felt like the right step if I was going to ramp up my business. I found her through a staffing company and it had only been two days. We were still working out the contract which hadn't been signed at that point.
Something told me to get on a call with this assistant to check in. So we did. At the end of the call something I said prompted her to tell me she hated working with the company she was at. That she planned on quitting by a certain date and had dreams of starting her own company where people were treated better.
What a blessing. For her to share her dream and vocalize what she was feeling and experiencing. But also deep down I knew I didn't need an assistant until I figured out what my offering would be. This was God pumping the breaks and making me be honest with myself.
Would it be so bad to work with her for three months then have her train a replacement two weeks before she left? Working with her in her new business wasn't an option since the staffing company contract has a non-compete clause. Should I stop and pocket that expense as profit or funnel it into another part of the business? Before bed, I asked my subconscious to work through this challenge and give me an answer in the morning. Whenever you question something in your life and feel stuck ask your subconscious before bed to work it out for you while you sleep.
When I woke up, I felt this calm clarity around not moving forward. So I emailed the hiring manager, not saying anything about my conversation with the assistant, and told her I wouldn't be moving forward at this time. She understood and said to reach out in the future. When I sent that email an energetic pressure released. I felt so good and knew it was the right choice.
Then two seconds after, my husband comes into the living room and starts being SUPER affectionate. Saying he missed me and wanted to spend time with me on his break. Usually, in the middle of a workday he's focused and stressed so this was not normal. I immediately knew he felt my energetic shift without realizing it.
Then he goes back to work and I get a text from a copywriting client asking if we could chat on the phone real quick. He said, "I'm going to sell my business and want to go all-in on the next phase of my career and life. This doesn't have to be you if you don't want to but I need help getting together everything that will set me up as an authority in my industry. Course, launch emails, getting on podcasts, etc so if you want to help me get a plan together and execute on getting this done I have the money let's go." If you own a business you know hearing any words from clients about "I have the budget" and "You tell me what to do and let's go" is like a dream.
Commit to Feeling Good
The minute I committed to feeling good and focusing on what I KNEW God wanted me to focus on abundance flowed. Immediately and without effort. Money. Affection. All because my attention turned to what felt effortless and aligned.
This also proved it's not about if you want a ham sandwich or a beachside home in Malibu. If it makes you feel good, resistance releases, and abundance flows. It made sudden sense to not ever want anything that feels icky, pressure, or resistant because I won't get what I want anyway. So what's the point?
Elizabeth Daniels says, "Whenever your intention fails to manifest quickly, it’s because you aren’t a vibrational match to your intention. Instead, you’re a vibrational match to things remaining the same…and you probably don’t even realize it." My higher self was ready to evolve and expand. But without clarity and alignment around my intention for the future, I stayed in the vibration of my current self. My ego capitalized on that and fueled the fire with fears, doubts, and blocked manifestations.
Daniels continues, "Resistance usually takes the form of subconscious fears and doubts. You don’t even realize they’re there. Yet, they sit in the background and prevent your desires from manifesting. They act as counter-intentions and the more attention and energy you give them, the harder it is to manifest what you want.” Tony Fahkry says, "In order to move forward, resistance must be given up. This can be a challenging aspect since we take ownership of the emotion by identifying with it." When emotion becomes part of your identity it becomes even harder to let go of.
It feels as if we're abandoning ourselves. If we identify more with the ego-self than our higher self we'll feel a lot of internal conflicts as our emotions change. Which they do a lot! So what's a consistent way we can dissipate and work through resistance when we notice it's happening?
How to Work Through Resistance
To make this easier to remember I'm going to call this the 6 Rs of Working Through Resistance. It felt right and I love creating easier ways to integrate new learnings so feel free to share this and say you heard it here first.
Recognize it's there.
When you feel emotions like fear or irritability accept them without judgment. Rather than glossing over the feeling and busying yourself with a household chore or a kitchen raid let yourself pause. Ask yourself, "What am I resisting right now?" Don't be afraid to get curious. Resistance can show up because of subconscious fears or beliefs you don't realize are affecting you. Be gentle with yourself. I wasn't taught how to cope with feelings like anxiety or fear so I would handle it by shutting down. Every time something new came into my life I would freeze and become nonrespondent because I didn't know how to cope. So even the act of recognizing resistance gave me the foundation I needed to have a healthier reaction. So, once you recognize that...Regroup with yourself.
A great way to shake up that resistant energy is to remove yourself from your current environment and get a quick reset. If you're at your desk walk into another room or step outside for a five-minute walk. Get a glass of water or do a 3-minute meditation. Something to jog your current state. Then ask, "How can you reframe this negative or resistant thought?"For example, if you worry that losing weight or making more money will make you lose friendships and relationships. Admit that it would be scary. Acknowledge it. Yes, losing close friendships or relationships because people are used to you being a certain way and couldn't handle the change would be scary.
But also acknowledge you would only need to deal with it if it ever happened. You know you want to get healthy and that shouldn't be dictated by the emotional capacity or reactions of others. Then create an empowering statement like "I only need to please myself and make decisions I feel are right for me. When I'm healthier, I'm happier and that will strengthen my ability to love those around me even more."
If you find yourself resisting getting work done. Still, step away for a quick second then ask yourself "What's the ONE thing that's most important to focus on?" We're talking about the thing that by doing it would make other things easier or unnecessary as shared in The One Thing* by Gary Keller. If you own a business profit should always be the focus. What one thing would make that possible right now?
If you want to run a tight household for your family what's the ONE thing that if you did it would make other things easier or make the most difference to you and your family? There will always be tasks and pressures calling for your attention but there's only one at this moment that actually matters and truly gets you closer to your ONE thing. Sometimes I find my ego thinking everything is equally important. It's not. Once you have that one thing in your mind go to the next step.
Re-connect with your intention.
Take 30 seconds to close your eyes and repeat this Ultimate Success Mantra to Thrive in Love, Abundance, and Creativity from Gay Hendricks in The Big Leap*: I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.Repeat it a few more times then let yourself sit in silence to soak it in. Then think about what kind of future makes you happy. No matter what your exact intention is you probably want to feel happy and fulfilled. Peaceful.
Forget money or other external factors for a second. If you were to do what makes you happy what does that look like? Maybe you look happy, confident, more loving, and abundant in the love you give, you feel light and look radiant. If you feel those things guess what? Money, love, and abundance will naturally come.
It's energy. And when it comes? You'll be able to amplify even more the confidence, love, and radiance. Reconnect to your intention and then we'll go to the next step...
Raise your vibration.
Now it's time to raise your vibration as you get back to work. What's something good you can think about right now? If you have an affirmation playlist put that on to hear good words. I created a ten-minute one that you can listen to here.
Once you get to this step you'll already start feeling better. These last two steps are more bonus ones but help you move to even higher levels of flow.Reserve your time.
Block out time every day for what you know is most important. Science shows that writing down and scheduling commitments helps you achieve more and push past resistance. This saves you energy by helping know how you're spending every hour of your time. Every Friday or Sunday I schedule the next week in my Ponderlily planner and block off every hour based on my theme days and whatever is most important for me to get done. That way when the new week starts there's no question about what I need to be doing. That is especially useful if you struggle to know what to do when time frees up in your day. Like, what do I focus on?Get an accountability partner.
Get an accountability partner. Stacey Hanke says, "Identify someone you trust, whose feedback will be honest and thorough. Ideal accountability partners are those you respect and whom you don’t want to disappoint. This person can be trying to accomplish the same goal or just be a support resource, making sure you don’t skip out on the hard work, succumbing to the resistance."
As if we need any more reasons Stacey Hanke also says, "The ASTD’s study found that your chance of successfully reaching a goal rises to 95% when you establish an ongoing appointment with your accountability partner."
I hope this post helped you put a finger on resistance and gave you good tips to get started. If you have any questions or inspiring ah-ha moments leave a comment below so we can be inspired by you and keep the conversation going!
Affirmation
I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.
Do This Today
When you feel emotions like fear or irritability accept it without judgment, ask yourself, "What am I resisting right now?"
Writing Prompt
What am I resisting in my life? How can I simplify and release that resistance?
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