How to Feel Peace if You Feel Overwhelmed by Life
My goal since I’ve lived in New York City is to figure out how to exist in a serene peaceful bubble without needing to move. Life can get crazy so I wanted to talk this week about feeling more peace even when things around you feel hectic. It’s been three years and I’ve gotten better but realized a few key things: feeling peace is a lifelong commitment, slow down, be ok with going against the grain. If you feel like you've been searching for a more peaceful life, this is your sign to go for it. You don't need to wait for everyone else to start. You’ll have wasted so many precious years not having peace.
I want to talk today about feeling peace even when life around you seems overwhelming. If you’re in a city like I am it can feel hectic. Busy. Pressure.
Certain family members or friends can dump their energetic clutter on you and it makes you feel drained. Maybe you’re plagued by incessant negative thoughts that bring your energy down. Every component in your life involves energy and affects how you feel.
Is there a way to feel more peace even when things around you feel hectic? Yes, there is. My goal since I’ve lived in New York City is to figure out how to exist in a serene peaceful bubble without needing to move. It’s been three years and I’ve gotten better but realized a few key things:
One, feeling peace is a lifelong commitment. It requires ebbing and flowing with the rhythms of life, checking in with yourself, and doing consistent spiritual hygiene habits that keep you grounded and clear.
Two, slow down. If you spend time in nature and let yourself observe and try to match its pace you’ll realize how much slower it goes than us humans. Then if you let yourself soak in and observe more you might notice your own body syncing up with it. It’s pretty cool and a great reminder of our roots. The Earth has survived for millions of years so far so clearly she knows what it takes to live that long. We can learn so much from her.
Three, be ok going against the grain. Don’t feel like you have to keep up with the energy around you. It took me a bit to accept that one. I don’t need to be a fast-paced New Yorker who runs twenty miles a minute to enjoy living here. If I want to see the change I seek then I have to be that change. It’s ok if I walk a little slower, work reasonable hours, and don’t strive the way most people do. That’s ok. I have to be the change. This goes for you too. If you crave a certain way of living then be that change even if you’re the only one.
5 Tips for Finding Peace
I’m going to share some things but don’t feel pressure. In the podcast version of this post, we’ve put nice music in the background to make this a soothing episode. So however you feel called to consume this please do. The common thread between everything I share involves observation. Being present and observant. Listening. Rather than reacting. Here’s how I’ve found peace no matter where I’ve been:
Get in Nature.
As I mentioned earlier, remind yourself of the pace of the Earth. Central Park is my haven. Sitting on the grass, looking at the sky, soaking in the sounds of the trees and birds. Of course on good cool days. In the Winter you can take walks.
On super hot days, you can look at trees lining the sidewalk or out your window. Even looking at plants in your house and observing the color and shape is restorative. What I’ve noticed is if you let your body sync up to the rhythm and pace of nature that’s what makes the biggest difference. I challenge you the next time you’re around trees or birds to observe how fast or slow they’re going.
Most likely they’re going slower than we’re used to. Let yourself sync up to that. See how you feel after.
Ask Yourself, “Where is Your Energy Going?”
Every time I think of where my energy is going I think of this diagram from Joe Dispenza’s book Becoming Supernatural*. It’s called “Where You Place Your Attention Is Where You Place Your Energy”.
You can see the picture but I’ll explain it here as well. It’s a circle with everything your energy goes toward on a given day. Your parents, partner, job, cell phone, exercise, etc. I realized how much of my energy was going to social media and places that didn’t make me feel good.
So after two weeks of back and forth, I delete Instagram from my phone. For two months. It felt liberating. I was more present and used that reclaimed energy to zone in on creative work. To do deep work.
Now, I only log on once a week to post on The Good Space’s page. We only have a certain amount of energetic stores every day. What are you investing it in? How are you refilling that tank every day? These are the two questions I’ve been asking myself regularly.
3. Ask Yourself, “Where is the Clutter in Your Life?”
Observe when you feel resistance or heaviness after thinking a thought. After speaking to a certain person. Or using an app like Instagram or Facebook. Is your energy more expansive and peaceful? Or anxious and drained? When you recognize what’s heavy commit to letting them go whenever you’re ready.
That’s something I learned from Peggy Fitzsimmons. God/Source won’t make you let go of anything that’s not ready to let go of you. So trust that once you see where life feels heavy that you’re already on the path to releasing it. It’s important to let go of people or things or grudges and trauma stuck in our bodies. It releases so much.
It’s also important to recognize when people are dumping their energetic clutter on you. Energetic clutter comes in the form of complaining, speaking negatively of others, or speaking in ways that contribute nothing to joy, growth. Some people get triggered and act in negative ways because of a pattern they’ve created in their bodies. Some people only know how to connect through negativity.
That energetic clutter is their responsibility to hold. Not yours. Learning this has saved me so much energy and heartache. I used to feel responsible for other people’s emotional states and their healing. Like I had to be the one to help them to change. But most people aren’t complaining or being negative to change. So it’s best to let them take care of it and remove yourself from the energetic situation.
4. Work on Becoming the Observer in All Situations.
I used to be so reactive. Feeling like I had no control over my emotions or thoughts. But through meditation and different books* I realized our true self is the one that notices emotions like sadness or anxiety. It’s not the actual feeling of sadness or anxiety. So anytime you’re in an intense emotional situation you can take the seat of the observer.
5. When You Feel Overwhelmed by Your Environment or To-Do List, Do Less.
If you can remove yourself from the environment. Again nature is great. Taking a walk. Schedule fewer calls next week. Cancel calls that aren’t uber important. Again it’s sensing what’s harmonious for your life. Do less when you need to recoup. Do a little more when you’re ready to.
6. Bonus:
Try something new like breathwork, mediation, or yoga. Sometimes we’re so ingrained in our habits we need a new practice to get us out of a rut. You never know what can help you feel peace until you try.
Overall I learned it’s more about letting energy ebb and flow. Resistance stops things up and creates stored trauma in the body. Rather than feel like you need to control everything. Flow with life a little more, remind yourself you’re safe, and only put energy into what you can control.
Affirmation
I am peace. I align myself with peaceful energy every day in every way.
Writing Prompt
What feels heavy in my life right now? What feels good? How can I integrate more peace into my life?
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